Think of someone you have a relationship with – a friend, lover, coworker, a company. Now consider five things happen with this person or entity that are positive; four things happen that are neutral; and one thing happens that is negative. What is the one we tend to think about when we go to sleep?
I heard the above on a video I was watched of Rick Hanson, Ph.D. giving a TED talk. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that since.
We’ve heard the cliché about being half full or half empty. We’ve heard to focus on the positive not the negative. We’ve heard it. Yet does that really happen? I don’t think so, not as a whole. Look at social media if you’re not convinced. It’s full of opinionated complainers. Certainly there are exceptions, but those who are discontent seem to be shouting the loudest and the most often.
I recently witnessed one direct sales leader posing a question on Facebook, looking for advice how to handle the negative drama she was experiencing on her team page. I then saw that same consultant on a different Facebook page instigating the negative drama! She started the thread complaining. She wasn’t just venting frustrations; she was fueling a mutiny, complete with demanding graphics.
That little interaction made me think about what Rick Hanson said, “… five things happen with this person or entity that are positive; four things happen that are neutral; and one thing happens that is negative. What is the one we tend to think about when we go to sleep?”
The consultant described above was clearly focused on the one negative interaction. Had she stayed focused on the five positive, or even the other four neutral, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have negative drama on her hands. And definitely not a good example of how to behave when you’re a team leader.
What do you focus on?
Do you choose to concentrate on all the good that is in your life? Or would you rather be intentionally miserable focusing on the one negative? It’s certainly easier said than done, isn’t it? Nonetheless, you have all the power to choose what you think about.
I have a good friend who periodically reminds me of this principle. I know she is a safe counsel whom I can share frustrations with. Instead of wallowing with me, she gently reminds me of the reasons I may be stuck on the one negative and overlooking the all good or neutral experiences.
Do you have someone close to you who isn’t just a Yes Person, but will help remind you to focus on happiness? If not, go have a chat with one of your friends, granting permission to turn around your thinking if you’re not focused on happiness.
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About the Author: Laurie Ayers is a Michigan work from home mom and a Superstar Director with Scentsy Wickless Candles. She enjoys helping men and women start and maintain a home based business in the US, Canada, Mexico, Australia, New Zealand, Puerto Rico, Germany, Ireland, UK, France, Austria and Spain. To download a FREE Start Up Guide which provides more details about how to start a home business as well as to learn about our compensation plan go to www.thrivingcandlebusiness.com/how-to-start-a-candle-business/